Terrible Thursday Vol ....oh hell I have lost count

I am gonna take a few moments and vent, shocking isn't?

So Ted had his last chemo treatment on Tuesday until June 1st. Oh the way to his house, my car started making this god awful loud noise. Mind you I have just had work done on it about 3 months ago. Well guess what, my exhaust system has a huge crack in it and my O2 sensor blew off, now what does this mean you ask?
Well my car is louder than an Harley Davidson, it fills up with gas fumes and gets crappy gas mileage at this point. Needless to say it will be going back the mechanic on Friday and will be there until next Friday.

Ever have those days where you feel like you could just burst out in song and dance? Well this ain't one of those days!

Since I have no ride, I had to take off work yesterday and today. I went to the doctor with Ted yesterday and he was given a new prescription for a pain patch that is supposed to help. The doctor said it would be great for him and would work for his budget which at this point is null and void. He does NOT have insurance and will not start receiving disability until July 22. So we got to Wal-Mart to get this miracle drug filled and the nice young lady at the counter says that it will be 279.00. WTF?!?!?! Someone please explain to me how in the hell it cost the drug company 300.00 to make a pain medicine for a cancer patient.
"I'm sorry sir, you have already been screwed by getting cancer but let's see if we can screw you just a little bit more and not even let you enjoy it!"
I don't know what kind of budget this doctor is on but I am pretty sure that his income is more than both of ours put together. Note to self, be sure and ask him if he is willing to donate to charity cause we need some over here!

We then went to another pharmacy and guess what it was a whole $15.00 cheaper there. Wow, what a relief. Needless to say we went back to the cancer clinic and had to ask for a pain med that was in our poverty level budget. We get it filled for the bargain price of $35.00. Ted then takes two of them as prescribed and is feeling ok.
Well, that was just a test as last night was probably the 3rd worst night he has had since all of this started. We were up half the night with him pacing the floor as he was in EXTREME pain. Finally, I decided to give him one of his old pain pills and a nerve pill as he was over the edge. I probably over medicated him but at the point he was, I figured what the hell? Anything to give him some kind of relief would do.

Hopefully tomorrow will be a better day cause so far since 12:01am, this day has kinda blown!

Friends

I have some of the best friends in the world. No matter what is going on I know that I can always count on them. If it is a shoulder to cry on, an ear to vent to or just to make me laugh so much that I can't catch my breath. Even if I am the butt of the joke.

Friends are the family that you get to choose and that is such a blessing. I treasure my friends more than anything and so glad that they chose to be my friend too!

If it had not been for my awesome friends these last couple of months, I might have lost my mind or sank so far down into the black pit of depression. When I am feeling down, tired, or just like giving up, my friends make sure that I don't. I love them all very much and will never be able to repay them for holding me up when I just did not have the strength to go on.

A Good Day

Wow! We are having a good day today. After 5 treatments everyday, Ted is feeling much better today and actually playing his Wii for the first time since he got it. I am so happy and thankful for these rare and great days.

It is amazing how during all of this you just treasure all of the small things that normally would go unnoticed. God is helping us through this journey and we are so very grateful for these little blessings. We go back to the doctor on Friday and I am going to ask how much more treatment time we are looking at so that we can get a better idea of where we stand.

Heartache

This week has been a really rough one. Ted is having the roughest week so far. The chemo is whipping his butt and taking names. He is very, very weak and now at the point of not wanting to eat. He has been very sick and hurting more than before. I have to ask myself, is the chemo working and really attacking the cancer or is it spreading? I am trying to be positive and making myself believe that it is attacking the cancer and winning. He is having to suffer for it to get better.
Seeing him so weak and in pain is breaking my heart.