Butt Crack O Dawn

Seriously why in the hell do I ALWAYS manage to get up at the butt crack o dawn on my days off?!?!?! When I have to work, I could sleep all day and most days I do over sleep. Is it part of getting older and having your inner alarm clock go off. Wake up sleepy head you don't need to be in bed anymore. I would like to tell it "screw you!". One of these days I am going to find that snooze or off button and use it!

Sometimes, Life Just Sucks

I haven't updated on Ted in a while. I had been sick and not able to come and stay with him. He went to the doctor on Wed and got the results from his CT scan which was not very good at all. There is the one tumor that started out at 6cm and has now grown to 12cm, which means it has grown 2cm per month. The chemo did not affect the tumor at all, if anything it has gotten worse and spread to his ribs now.
The doctor is not giving a great outlook, at this point they are administrating radiation to see if they can get his pain level down.

It is not looking good at all as they do not think that the tumor will shrink or really respond to the radiation enough for surgery. If this doesn't work, there is nothing else that they can do. I know that Words cannot begin to express the heartache that I feel at this point. Ted and I were together for over 5 years and just because we are not a couple anymore doesn't mean I don't still love and care about him, maybe on a different level at this point. I promised him from the start that I would see him through this and I am keeping that promise to him.

Life just really sucks and is not fair.