Yesterday my brother in law called to see if I could pick up my nephew from school. Well I was on my way to Fort Payne with Ted to see his new oncologist. I ended up calling Mom and asking her if she could do it and let her know that my sister or brother in law would be there to pick him up.
Mom aka Mamaw is NOTORIOUS for not letting my sister and brother in law that Benjamin got into trouble at school until one of them comes to pick up "Rocky" (see previous post). She lets him come to her house and have fun before he has to face the firing squad. Ok I am just a little pissed about this because she NEVER had a problem beating us when we acted up. Seriously my mom's game is slipping.
"Rocky" took his newest Transformer to school (yes he finally got one after being good for a couple of days) and was so involved with playing with it that he just did NOT have time to do his school work. His teacher (who deserves a special place in heaven for dealing with 4 y/o childern all day) told him he had to put away his toy and do his work. Well, being the stubborn child that he is (I have NO idea where this comes from either...lol) just chose not to hear her and and in his usual behavior made sound effects for the whole class. His teacher took away his Transformer which caused a melt down at this point and he pitched himself a good ole temper tantrum. Well this caused a ruckuss in the classroom from his classmates, so his teacher led him outside and made him sit out at the desk in the hall. This desk and Rocky know each other pretty well at this point in the year.
He finally did his work at which point he worked his way back down to yellow after being on red. Mamaw picks him up from school and the teacher tells her about his day and also sends home a note for mom and dad. Mamaw takes him to Wendy's (which is ONLY supposed to be a treat if he is good), takes him back to her house where he is overloaded on his cartoons and lets him pretty much do anything that he wants to do. She also gives him a NEW TRANSFORMER that she had bought him on Sunday. I am thinking, really mom? What is it about grandparents that makes them forget how they treated you, their own child for bad behavior. When it comes to grandchildren, they just do NO wrong in grandparents eyes.
My sister arrives to pick up "Rocky" and he shows her his new Transformer that Mamaw bought him and tells her he had a good day at school. Mamaw finally has to confess to the Gustapo about what happened at the O.K. Corral and that yes she did give him a new toy but she had already bought it for him. My sister just shook her head and got the boy and took him home. I know that she gave him a firm talking to and at this point he is NOT allowed to take anymore toys to school. This child, being the bright on that he is says "Well I can still have them at home".
He is going to his Mamaw's this weekend......
4 year old +2, Adults - Double 0........Score!
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
Thursday, March 26, 2009
Roller Coaster
These last two weeks have been one HELL of a roller coaster ride. The love of my life (even though we are kind of broken up, yeah right...lol) has been having some upper back pain for about a month and passing kidney stones like crazy. First he went to a doc in the box and they gave him some muscle relaxers and said he just strained his back due to passing so many kidney stones. Well on Friday, March 13th he finally went to the ER as he could not stand the pain anymore. They admitted him for upper back pain. He finally had an x-ray which showed a spot on his right lung, this entailed having a CT scan done which showed a 6 cm mass on his right lung. He then had to have a bronoscopy done. Now mind you these was over the course of a few days. So there he is laying in the bed hurting and scared out of his mind not knowing what is going on. In walks the resident (who in my opinion really needs to work on his bed side manner) and proceeds to tell us that Ted has lung cancer. Ok, so now we have just had the damn wind kicked out of us. Lung Cancer @ 33?????!!!!! WTF?!?!
Then the onslaught of other doctors start, first there is the hospitalist(whom we're not sure what in the hell he is there for), the oncologist who finally tells us that the test results came back as cancer but they are not sure what kind. Ok, so the resident told us Lung Cancer and now we don't know, what in the hell?, it is like the right hand is NOT talking to the left hand at this point.
He then has a thoracic surgeon do a procedure where he cuts about a 3 in incision right underneath the Adam's Apple and take a larger piece of tissue from the tumor as the Bronchoscopy came back inconclusive. About a day later the oncologist comes back and tells us that it is a "germ cell tumor". Basically this is testicular cancer that has spread to his lung. It is a very rare cancer that only about 1 in a million people get. So after a week of fretting and thinking that he has lung cancer, we are told something totally different but the great thing is that this is 90% treatable. Through this whole time Ted has managed to keep his sense of humor as he is on a lot of medication, steroids (to which he asks all the nurses if he will play baseball better now), blood thinner, pain meds, and fluids.
After the test comes back with a definite diagnosis, he is then told that this is an aggressive cancer and that the oncologist wants him to start chemo immediately to fight this.
He has to have 4 rounds of chemo which is 5 days on then 5 days off and so on (all in all about 2 months worth). He is on Bleomycin, VP 16, and another one which I cannot think of at this time.
Let me just say this man is a trooper!! It is very hard to watch someone you care about lay in the bed and receive chemo and grow weaker and weaker by the day. Thank god they have him on medication that keeps him knocked out for most of it.
After 12 days he finally got to go home yesterday and is resting quite well, which I am sure is due partly to pain medication and the other part from being so weak from the chemo.
I stayed at the hospital with him a lot and got him home and settled. I could not imagine not being there for him as I know that he would do the same for me if I were in his shoes. We are all praying and hoping that he only has to go through 4 rounds of chemo. Will post more later.
Then the onslaught of other doctors start, first there is the hospitalist(whom we're not sure what in the hell he is there for), the oncologist who finally tells us that the test results came back as cancer but they are not sure what kind. Ok, so the resident told us Lung Cancer and now we don't know, what in the hell?, it is like the right hand is NOT talking to the left hand at this point.
He then has a thoracic surgeon do a procedure where he cuts about a 3 in incision right underneath the Adam's Apple and take a larger piece of tissue from the tumor as the Bronchoscopy came back inconclusive. About a day later the oncologist comes back and tells us that it is a "germ cell tumor". Basically this is testicular cancer that has spread to his lung. It is a very rare cancer that only about 1 in a million people get. So after a week of fretting and thinking that he has lung cancer, we are told something totally different but the great thing is that this is 90% treatable. Through this whole time Ted has managed to keep his sense of humor as he is on a lot of medication, steroids (to which he asks all the nurses if he will play baseball better now), blood thinner, pain meds, and fluids.
After the test comes back with a definite diagnosis, he is then told that this is an aggressive cancer and that the oncologist wants him to start chemo immediately to fight this.
He has to have 4 rounds of chemo which is 5 days on then 5 days off and so on (all in all about 2 months worth). He is on Bleomycin, VP 16, and another one which I cannot think of at this time.
Let me just say this man is a trooper!! It is very hard to watch someone you care about lay in the bed and receive chemo and grow weaker and weaker by the day. Thank god they have him on medication that keeps him knocked out for most of it.
After 12 days he finally got to go home yesterday and is resting quite well, which I am sure is due partly to pain medication and the other part from being so weak from the chemo.
I stayed at the hospital with him a lot and got him home and settled. I could not imagine not being there for him as I know that he would do the same for me if I were in his shoes. We are all praying and hoping that he only has to go through 4 rounds of chemo. Will post more later.
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
4 year old 1, Adults -0 (yes minus 0)
I now have a new nickname for Benjamin and it is Rocky. Yesterday while driving home my mom called and asked if I had heard the latest story on him. At this point I am thinking uh oh. Apparently Benjamin got into a fight at school with another little boy in his class (over what we do not know) but Benjamin out of nowhere turned into Rocky. This boy hit Benjamin and he being the little tush hog that he is slammed this boy down on the gym floor and sat on his head. I so see him becoming a famous WWF star in his future.
The teacher managed to get Benjamin off of the boy's head and put him in time out. Now for most people who have a basic understanding of the conduct system, there are three colors that children can be placed on. Green (good behavior), Yellow (warning/semi bad behavior) and Red (very bad behavior). Well guess which color the boy was placed on? You got it, red. His daddy told him that if he had a good day at school they could go to Wal-Mart and he would be able to get a new Transformer action figure. Well let's just say that he knew he was not going to Wal-Mart after school. I am guessing this really pissed him off as he yelled at the teacher and the opponet whose head he sat on "Now I a won't get to get my Transformer". When his daddy came to school to pick him up, he told him "Daddy, we don't need to go to my classroom" as he knew what was gonna happen if his Daddy saw that he was on red.
So he did not get to pick out a new Transformer but this sneaky little boy had a back up plan. He calls our mom aka Mamaw and tells her "I love you Mamaw, I really miss you. Will you pick me up from school tommorrow?" in his sweetest little boy voice. Well Mamaw had no idea that Rocky had been in a WWF smackdown at school, nor that he was on red or that he got a spanking when he got home. She thinking, awww my little guy loves and misses his Mamaw responds back "Sure sweetie, you know Mamaw will pick you up tommorrow. We'll go get your new watch.
This sweet, blonde headed boy has just played all the adults like a fine tuned fiddle. My sister who has heard this conversation gets on the phone with our mother and tells her all about Benjamin's day and how he is not going to get his Transformer now. Our mother, whose game is slipping in her old age says "Well I did not put stipulations on the watch, so I guess we are going to get it".
At this point 4 year old 1, Adults -0
The teacher managed to get Benjamin off of the boy's head and put him in time out. Now for most people who have a basic understanding of the conduct system, there are three colors that children can be placed on. Green (good behavior), Yellow (warning/semi bad behavior) and Red (very bad behavior). Well guess which color the boy was placed on? You got it, red. His daddy told him that if he had a good day at school they could go to Wal-Mart and he would be able to get a new Transformer action figure. Well let's just say that he knew he was not going to Wal-Mart after school. I am guessing this really pissed him off as he yelled at the teacher and the opponet whose head he sat on "Now I a won't get to get my Transformer". When his daddy came to school to pick him up, he told him "Daddy, we don't need to go to my classroom" as he knew what was gonna happen if his Daddy saw that he was on red.
So he did not get to pick out a new Transformer but this sneaky little boy had a back up plan. He calls our mom aka Mamaw and tells her "I love you Mamaw, I really miss you. Will you pick me up from school tommorrow?" in his sweetest little boy voice. Well Mamaw had no idea that Rocky had been in a WWF smackdown at school, nor that he was on red or that he got a spanking when he got home. She thinking, awww my little guy loves and misses his Mamaw responds back "Sure sweetie, you know Mamaw will pick you up tommorrow. We'll go get your new watch.
This sweet, blonde headed boy has just played all the adults like a fine tuned fiddle. My sister who has heard this conversation gets on the phone with our mother and tells her all about Benjamin's day and how he is not going to get his Transformer now. Our mother, whose game is slipping in her old age says "Well I did not put stipulations on the watch, so I guess we are going to get it".
At this point 4 year old 1, Adults -0
Monday, March 16, 2009
Bruised But Not Broken
Daphne turned me onto this song last year at a point in my life when I needed it. I so thank you for that sweetie. I listened to it again last week and turned my friend onto it. For anyone who has ever had a broken heart or is nursing one now.....
"Bruised But Not Broken" Joss Stone
Been alot that I've been through
I cried a tear a time or two
Baby, you know I cried some over you, yeah
Had my heart kicked to the ground
Love ripped me up and tore me down, baby
But that ain't enough to break me
Cuz I'll rise above it
And I'll pick myself up
And I'll dust the pain off my heart
And I'll be alright
And I'll love again
And the wounds will mend
I'm bruised but not broken
And the pain will fade
I'll get back on my feet
It's not the end of me
My heart is still open
I'm bruised but not broken
Been alot of tears stained nights
I thought the tears were here for life, baby
The hurt came on and held on tight, yeah
Took a chance, I took a fall
Love broke my heart and shattered all my dreams
But I won't be down on my knees
Cuz I'll rise above it
And I'll pick myself up
And I'll shake the rain out of my heart
And I'll be alright
And I'll love again
And the wounds will mend
I'm bruised but not broken
And the pain will fade
I'll get back on my feet
It's not the end of me
My heart is still open
I'm bruised but not broken
Gonna pick my heart up
Take my life back
Shake the hurt away
Pull myself together, put the pieces back in place
I learned love's so hard
Love left my soul scarred
I was shattered inside
And I'll be alright
And I'll love again
And the wounds will mend
I'm bruised but not broken
And the pain will fade
I'll get back on my feet
It's not the end of me
My heart is still open
I'm bruised but not broken
Having your heart borken, ripped out and stomped on the ground hurts like nothing else in the world. There are days when you do good just to be able to breathe and put on a fake ass smile. You know what? It does get better but only at YOUR pace. (*for my girls, thank you so much for ALWAYS being there for me, I love you! I am glad to say that I am a little wiser and more cautious now but I know that I can love again..one day)
"Bruised But Not Broken" Joss Stone
Been alot that I've been through
I cried a tear a time or two
Baby, you know I cried some over you, yeah
Had my heart kicked to the ground
Love ripped me up and tore me down, baby
But that ain't enough to break me
Cuz I'll rise above it
And I'll pick myself up
And I'll dust the pain off my heart
And I'll be alright
And I'll love again
And the wounds will mend
I'm bruised but not broken
And the pain will fade
I'll get back on my feet
It's not the end of me
My heart is still open
I'm bruised but not broken
Been alot of tears stained nights
I thought the tears were here for life, baby
The hurt came on and held on tight, yeah
Took a chance, I took a fall
Love broke my heart and shattered all my dreams
But I won't be down on my knees
Cuz I'll rise above it
And I'll pick myself up
And I'll shake the rain out of my heart
And I'll be alright
And I'll love again
And the wounds will mend
I'm bruised but not broken
And the pain will fade
I'll get back on my feet
It's not the end of me
My heart is still open
I'm bruised but not broken
Gonna pick my heart up
Take my life back
Shake the hurt away
Pull myself together, put the pieces back in place
I learned love's so hard
Love left my soul scarred
I was shattered inside
And I'll be alright
And I'll love again
And the wounds will mend
I'm bruised but not broken
And the pain will fade
I'll get back on my feet
It's not the end of me
My heart is still open
I'm bruised but not broken
Having your heart borken, ripped out and stomped on the ground hurts like nothing else in the world. There are days when you do good just to be able to breathe and put on a fake ass smile. You know what? It does get better but only at YOUR pace. (*for my girls, thank you so much for ALWAYS being there for me, I love you! I am glad to say that I am a little wiser and more cautious now but I know that I can love again..one day)
Who I Am
These last couple of weeks I have been doing a lot of soul searching......
I am in such a totally different place this moment in my life than I was last year, last week or even yesterday. It is nice to know that you can sometimes surprise yourself with inner courage, strength and just finding out who you are again.
I am :
A woman of God
A sister and a daughter
An aunt
Cautious with my heart as it is the most valuable thing that I have
A friend
Confident yet I have moments of being insecure
Loyal
Stubborn as HELL
Strong
Beautiful on the inside
Too hard on myself
Joyful
A caregiver
Sarcastic
Selfish
Lover of music
Better at putting pen to paper to express myself than acutally saying it outloud
Cooky
Funny
A good listener (so some friends have said)
A sucker for chick flicks, there is nothing like a good cry fest to cleanse your soul
Not going to change for ANYBODY
Complex
A suprise to myself
I am in such a totally different place this moment in my life than I was last year, last week or even yesterday. It is nice to know that you can sometimes surprise yourself with inner courage, strength and just finding out who you are again.
I am :
A woman of God
A sister and a daughter
An aunt
Cautious with my heart as it is the most valuable thing that I have
A friend
Confident yet I have moments of being insecure
Loyal
Stubborn as HELL
Strong
Beautiful on the inside
Too hard on myself
Joyful
A caregiver
Sarcastic
Selfish
Lover of music
Better at putting pen to paper to express myself than acutally saying it outloud
Cooky
Funny
A good listener (so some friends have said)
A sucker for chick flicks, there is nothing like a good cry fest to cleanse your soul
Not going to change for ANYBODY
Complex
A suprise to myself
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