Friendship is a Funny Thing

If I have learned anything this past year it is the value of true friends. I'm not talking about people who you think are your friends and who only want you around when they want something. I am talking about the friends you have that are there no matter what is going on, good or bad.

I had a few friends who I thought were true friends but after going through all that I have with Ted and losing him I found out that they were not really my friends. They really surprised me by showing me their true colors. I guess it is better to find out now than later.

Enough with the negative thoughts on people who don't really matter to me anymore. I have cut my ties and moved on.

I have a close cirlce of friends which I can depend on no matter what time of day or night it is. God blessed me with them and I am so thankful for all of them. I have shut myself off from the world for a while and these wonderful friends of mine have been great about it.

Five Months

I cannot believe it has been five months since you left us. It is still just so raw and fresh in my mind. I still have a hard time believing that you are really gone. A lot of our friends are making plans for Valentine's Day and I find myself yet again having to make it through another first holiday without you.

I wish that I was stronger about this, I wish that you could be here with me just to tell me in your loving sweet voice that I am going to be ok. I just want to hear you say "Baby, it's ok" while you have your big arms wrapped around me like you did so many other times before. I wish that I didn't miss you so much and could make myself let go of you but I can't. I honestly don't think that I will ever get over you and will spend the rest of my life just waiting for the day when we will be together again.

This is the hardest thing I have ever had to do in my life and I just want it to be over.