No More Pity Party

I found myself sinking back into a very bad habit. I was pissed off at the world and have myself a good ole pity party. For the most part this has not been the best year for me............in a few different ways
I have had a broken engagement and the relationship eventually died which makes me very sad. We are still friends but some hurts can just never be forgotten on both ends. I still love him but I am not in love with him anymore. For the 1st time since I was 18 I am not in a realtionship anymore and for a while I was handling it quite well. For the last couple of weeks for some reason it has hit me very hard that I am actually alone and this kind of depressed me. Don't get me wrong, for the most part I am loving being single and doing what I want and when I want. It has made me think that maybe it is not the other person the relationship who has problems but there is something wrong with me and I am just not able to be in one...........
Then there are times when it is very lonely and I am just learning how to deal with that on a day to day basis. I know that I am going to get through this but it is just going to take me sometime.
Two of my close friends at work have gone on to other places and that has kind of put my world in a tailspin as I am very close to them and not really a big fan of change. We are still in touch but I just miss how it used to be. I know that I will get over that too.
I am really just having myself a good ole pity party yet I don't want to attend anymore!!!!

Due to some financial issues (or you could say lack of funding, I am having to postpone going to school).......I really think in the light of things that this is the straw that broke the camels back....

I have a wonderful family whom I love more than life and they feel the same way about me. I have a great group of diverse friends that I know I can always count on whether it be an ear to lend me to vent, a shoulder to cry on, make me laugh so hard that I can't catch my breath or just be there when I need them. They say what does not kills us makes us stronger and I believe that!!!

I know that all of this is just self pity and I have some friends whose problems are way worse than mine and I need to just get over all of this petty crap. I really have a blessed life and am a very lucky person for I have the love of God, an awesome family and amazing friends who show me how to be a better person by just being in my life!!!

Twilight Series

I am hooked on this AWESOME series of books by Stephenie Meyer. I first found out about this series by chance. For some reason I went into the store Hot Topic (which I never go into) and I saw this shirt hanging up on the wall of this pretty girl and very handsome boy with just the word Twilight underneath it.........

I had to find out what this was so I asked the young girl at the counter and she just looked at me like I had lost my mind.....duh, I was supposed to know. Anyway, long story short, she told me that it was a movie based on a series of books by Stephenie Meyer and that they were the rage right now.

I went home and googled it and saw that it was about a vampire and the girl who falls in love with him. I went to Wal-Mart that night and bought the book. It has been a long time since I have stayed up late reading a book, let me tell you.

They say this book is for young girls, but this older woman got hooked instantly. Yes the main character Bella is in high school but their story (Bella & Edward) is so complex that it is not really a high school romance. I kept telling my sister about this book and she got hooked on it instantly too.

Twilight - Introduced to Bella & Edward and other key players. This is the book that started it all!!

I finished this book in two days with its 500 pages and all. I would not talk on the phone nor to anyone at work, I spent every waking moment reading this book.

"Softly he brushed my cheek, then held my face between his marble hands. 'Be very still,' he whispered, as if I wasn't already frozen. Slowly, never moving
his eyes from mine, he leaned toward me. Then abruptly, but very gently, he
rested his cold cheek against the hollow at the base of my throat."

Over time, Edward and Bella fall in love. Their foremost problem is that to Edward, Bella's scent is a hundred times more potent than any other human's, making Edward struggle to resist his desire to kill her. However, despite this, Edward and Bella manage to stay together safely for a time.

begins with Bella being upset by her 18th birthday, because it will make
her "older" than the permanently 17-year-old Edward. During her birthday party Bella gets a paper cut, and his brother Jasper's instinctive hunger for Bella's
blood reminds Edward of the danger their relationship puts her in. In a misguided attempt to protect Bella, he convinces her that he does not love her anymore and moves away with his family, leaving her heartbroken and depressed.
This is the 2nd book in the series............Read this one in two days too.

broken ribbon represents choice, as in the book Bella must choose between her love for vampire Edward Cullen,
and her friendship/love with werewolf Jacob Black. Meyer also stated that the ribbon represents the idea that Bella can't break away completely from her human life.

begins with the revelation that Seattle is being plagued by a string of unsolved murders, which Edward suspects to be the cause of a newborn vampire that is unable to control its thirst. Edward and Bella fill out college applications, while Bella explains to Edward her desire to see Jacob, her werewolf friend, again.

and last but not least..............

Divided into three "books", all but Book 2 are told from the perspective of Bella Swan, with the second being told from the point of view of Jacob Black. Breaking Dawn is a reference to the beginning of Bella's life as a vampire. The cover is a metaphor for Bella's progression throughout the entire saga; she began as the physically weakest player on the board, the pawn, but ended up the strongest, the queen.

This book finishes the series and I was very sad when I reached the last page............

Lazy Sundays

Sunday is my favorite day of the week. I guess this is because I work every Saturday at my other job and Sunday is the only day that I can really relax.
Yesterday, I had the whole house to myself and it was so very nice. I turned off the TV and put in some old Motown CD's and just jammed out. About the only thing stressful that I did was laundry. I didn't even turn on my cell phone yesterday.
I love just being able to lay around the house and do nothing, I usually go to early mass and I am home by 8:30 that morning. After that, I wash my face and put on my comfy clothes and just try to enjoy my one day off!!

Sometimes, I just watch classic old movies on TCM and other times I just curl up with a good book!

Some of my Favorite Things........

With it being fall, it got me to thinking about some of my favorite things such as....

Pretty Leaves

Pumpkin Pie

Cinnamon & Apples

Halloween and cute trick or treaters

Crisp Autumn Air (if it ever gets cool!)

Fall is my favorite time of year for a few reasons.......I love the yellow, red and orange leaves on the trees. I love the smell of cinnamon and pumpkin pies baking. I love how crisp the autumn air is and walking in the beautiful harvest moonlight when it seems the moon is almost as big as earth. In autumn, the stars seem to shine so much brighter because the sky is so much darker.

I love to see all the little trick or treaters in their cute costumes on Halloween. There is nothing more adorable that a child all dressed up making that march for candy! Wow, just to be a kid again for that one night.

Girlfriends

I have three best friends and I love them to death!! There have been times in my life when I do not know what I would have done or how I could have gone on without them. I am a very lucky person to have these three special chicks in my life!!! Men come and go but your girls are there FOREVER!
My girls are all special to me in there own way and thankfully they all like each other and not jealous of the other one which you know sometimes can cause it's own drama!

Let me tell you a little about them and they are only in alphabetical order.....

Kristy - my partner in crime, we just feed off of each other and sometimes it gets us into trouble. We both have terrible road rage and you better watch out if we are in the car together (I won't share any of those stories, those are just between she and I).....LOL.
She loves me no matter what and there have been times when she has wanted to kill me or vice versa. We are both strong headed and very opinionated women but we do find a mutual ground!
Even though I divorced her cousin, she managed to remain neutral and still is my friend. I do feel guilty sometimes as I feel that her keeping her friendship with me cost her some family members who she used to be close to. She never took sides as she knows that there are three sides to every story, his, hers and the truth.
She has been there for me for the last 15 years and I don't know what I would do without her. She has seen me at my best and at my very lowest when I didn't even want to go on when I lost my baby. Her laugh is infectious and if has your back , then life is all good. I am honored to call her my friend and I love her very, very much!!!

Lachelle - I love this chick!! She has shown me how to be a better person just by her goodness and strength. She had to grow up very fast as she became a young mother and had to endure more heartbreak and tragedy than any young person should have to. She has scarified a lot to make sure that her children are taken care of unselfishly.
When we first met, I kinda thought she was stuck up but after riding the bus to school together every day I got to know her and found out she was a pretty cool.
She and I have been through a whole lot together and no matter what stupid thing I say or do, she still loves me.
We had a few wild times in our younger days (that are just between she and I...LOL!!) and we came out just fine.
She has a loving and forgiving heart and I think that she has finally found someone who deserves her. I pray that this is true and that he will treat her right.
Even though she moved far away, we are still close and she is still one of the first people I call when something good or bad is going on in my life. I wish that I could see her more but I know that she and I will always be friends no matter how many miles are between us! I love her very , very much!

Robin - she has been my best friend since 1st grade. We have had our share of fights and make ups as all school friends do but now we are closer than ever. She is also my partner in crime and we tend to get into a little bit of trouble too! I think that I bring out her wild side just a little bit!! She knows me like a true open book as we have grown up together. We can tell just what the other needs and doesn't need and we are really good at reading between the lines!

We have been through are share of heartbreaks together and I don't know what I would have done without her. She and her brothers are family to me and I love them very much.
For a while, due to my own stupidity of putting a man first, we lost touch which made me very sad.
Luckily, her mom came into where I work one day and needless to say we are back in touch and loving every minute of it. She says that she gets strength from me but I get it from her too.


I truly love these women with all of my heart and hope that everyone can have true friends like this in their life!