Ted left his broken down shell of a body and found eternal peace three weeks ago today @ 10:10pm. Half of me is so at peace with that and the other half of me just wants him back here with all of us whole and sound. I know that is not going to happen and it doesn't make it any easier on me.
I dread every Wed now instead of rejoicing that God answered my plea for mercy and took him home. I hate being this selfish yet my heart wants what it wants. I know that he will always live in my heart and for that I am thankful. I do know that I won't forget him, what his voice sounds like or how he smelt. Those are things that I was so afraid I would lose.
I am so thankful for a loving God who ended Ted's suffering and took him to a place where there is no cancer or sickness. There is love and other things that we can only dream about. I am so looking foward to the day when he and I meet again and he can tell me what all to expect.
I love him more today than yesterday and will love him even more tomorrow.
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