A New Year Means a Fresh Start

I have slacked off on my blog for a while as I have been dealing with this thing called life. It has been four months now and for the first time when the anniversary date rolled around I found myself not getting all hysterical and breaking down.
I see this as a baby step in making progress. I am hoping that with it being a new year that it will bring a better one. Needless to say, last year was probably the worst year of my entire life and not one I would want to repeat anytime soon.
I still find it hard to believe that he is really gone. I look at all of the pictures where he is so young and healthy and think, god, is it really true? Is he really gone for good? These days are getting better. There is a tiny part of me that has accepted that he is gone and he is not coming back. Does this mean that a sliver of my heart is actually healing? I hope so.
I feel like I have been on a deserted island and out of touch with the rest of the world these past few months. Oh I have gone through the motions of day to day crap but not really feeling like I am part of everybody Else's world. My life changed on Sept 16 and it will never be like it was before that date. It has changed me and I am hoping it is only for the better. Grief is a powerful emotion and there are so many stages of it.
I want this to be the year that I work on healing and moving forward with my life. Ted would not want any of us to wallow in pity and sadness. He loved life too much for that. I love life too much for that. I have found myself slowly getting back in touch with friends that I hadn't been talking to for a while. I am going to do my very best to make some positive changes in my life and carrying something away from all of this. I am still not sure what that is but maybe 50 so years from now I will.