A Letter For You

I just want you to know that I'm ok. Yeah it still hurts a lot to know you are not with us anymore but, I don't cry as much as I did before. I'm making some changes in my life and hopefully for the better. I hope you will be proud of me and know that just because I smile and laugh a little bit more doesn't mean I miss you any less. It just means that I am starting to heal a little bit. I have been thinking a lot about what I am going to take away from your passing. I am still searching for that answer but one thing I do know is that you loved life so much and for your short time here you embraced it with every being in your body. I know that life is too short and I am going to live mine.
I'm sorry for the times I said I was too tired to do something you wanted. I'm sorry that I worked two jobs and missed out on so many Saturdays with you.
I'm sorry that I just now realized how I should live my life for me and not for anyone else.....you taught me that. I'm sorry for anything negative or hateful I ever said to you in anger. I'm sorry that we didn't have more time on earth together but you will always have my heart until the day it stops beating. I thank ...you for all the love, compassion, sweetness, joy and laughter you gave me. I thank you for teaching me that life should be lived to the fullest. I thank you for filling my heart with joy, love, beauty and sorrow.
I thank you for all the wonderful Sundays that we spent in bed just doing nothing but being near each other. I thank you for always believing in me even when I didn't believe in myself. I thank you for showing me what love really is. I thank you for sharing your love of music with me. I thank you for sharing your hopes..., fears, disappointments, joy, sorrow and secrets with me and for letting me do the same with you. I love you with every being in my body. I know that one day all of this pain of losing you in the physical form will be replaced with having you inside my heart. When that day comes and I think of you it will be all of the wonderful memories that I cherish.